


Disconnected

by CarpeDM



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5194262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDM/pseuds/CarpeDM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason knows best. At least, that's what he thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disconnected

“You can’t do this,” Nico said, lower lip trembling, though he was trying his hardest not to let it show.

Jason shook his head, finding it hard to look Nico in the eye. “I have to.”

“But _why?_ ” Nico’s look of sadness slowly morphed into anger. “You made me stay here, said I’d have a home. And now you’re leaving?”

“Nico…” Jason whispered quietly, voice tinged with guilt. “I need to. It’s better for everyone. I can’t stay here.”

Nico looked like he was torn between punching Jason and crying, which made Jason feel even worse. He wanted to stay. Why didn’t Nico understand that? He wanted to stay with every fiber of his being, and that’s exactly why he had to leave.

“I’m sorry,” Jason whispered, not trusting his voice to be level enough to actually speak.

“Fine,” Nico bit out after a few seconds, and when Jason snapped his head up, he could see that Nico’s eyes were glistening with tears, a stark contrast with the glare he was shooting Jason, and the wilting grass under his feet. “Leave. What do I care, anyway? I should’ve known better than to trust you.”

Before Jason could answer, Nico had melted into the shadows.

 

* * *

 

Weeks passed with Jason trying to get a hold of Nico. He’d asked around at Camp Half-Blood, but nobody had seen Nico since he’d disappeared. He’d gotten the same answer at Camp Jupiter.

The only people who had gotten a sign of life from Nico were Hazel (who unsurprisingly enough didn’t want to talk to Jason), and Reyna, who had refused to talk to him. Even Percy had IM-ed him once he’d found out. _“What the hell, bro?”_

He wanted to tell them why he’d moved to New Rome, why he’d decided to take a crappy attic apartment over staying at Camp Half-Blood, but he knew it was for the best if he kept his mouth shut. This was his burden to bear, and he’d bear it, alone.

 

* * *

 

Months passed without word from Nico. He’d been seen around Camp Half-Blood, but every time Jason visited, he was nowhere to be found, showing up at Camp Jupiter instead.

Eventually, Jason stopped trying. Nico clearly didn’t want to see him, and this was what he himself had wanted, after all.

 

* * *

 

Years passed, and Jason had left New Rome, living on the outskirts of its borders. It was quieter there, and quiet was what he needed. He spent his days tending to a small vegetable garden he’d planted, or catching fish in the river, while his nights were spent reading, though on occasion he’d let his frustrations out on a training dummy behind the shack he’d built for himself.

Every once in a while, he headed into New Rome for supplies, and to catch up with old friends, even though they were mum on the topic of Nico, even when he asked.

He could have sworn he’d caught a glimpse of him the last time, no more than a shadow in the corner of his eye, but before he’d turned his head, it had been gone.

 

* * *

 

Jason opened the door to his cabin, humming a quiet tune. As soon as he’d closed the door behind him, he dropped the fish he was carrying on the floor with a wet smack.

“What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, breath caught in his throat. In the middle of his shack stood Nico, a scowl on his face, his arms crossed, leaning against his dinner table.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Jason tried, he tried and tried but all he managed to choke out was a pathetic whimper.

Nico scoffed, shaking his head. “This was a mistake.” He stood up and made his way over to the corner, and Jason knew he had to act fast.

“Wait,” He rasped out. “ _Please_ , Nico… Wait.”

Nico stopped in his tracks, one foot firmly planted in the shadows.

Jason waited for Nico to turn around, to look over his shoulder, to acknowledge him in any way, but it didn’t come. He just continued to stand there.

“Stay,” Jason whispered. “Please, I want- I want to talk.”

Hesitantly, Nico turned around, not leaving the corner. He’d only have to lean back, and he’d be able to disappear. “So talk.”

Jason got his first good look at Nico in years, and it all came flooding back so quickly that he stumbled backwards. He kept his eyes trained on Nico. “You look… good.”

And he did. He wasn’t the scrawny kid Jason had left behind all those years ago. He was every bit the man Jason knew he’d grow into one day. Still lanky, but taller, softer around the edges though he still had a dangerous aura surrounding him, though that have been because of the circumstances they were in.

His eyes were darker than ever, though the bags under his eyes that Jason had thought would never fade had disappeared, along with the faint dusting of freckles that used to dot his nose. Maybe they were still there, hidden away under Nico’s healthier skin tone that Jason had always wanted to see, ever since he’d been told about Nico when he’d first come to camp.

Perhaps the biggest change was the scruff on his chin and cheeks, chasing away any doubt; Nico had grown up.

Jason felt a stab of pain in his stomach when he realized he hadn’t been around to see it.

“I said talk, not chit-chat,” Nico bit out, crossing his arms again.

Jason hung his head before he forced himself to look back up. He was afraid that if he averted his eyes for too long, he’d find Nico gone when he looked back.

“I want to explain, if you’ll let me,” Jason said, taking a careful step closer, and then another, and another, until Nico’s fingers twitched in the direction of the corner.

Nico snorted. “I can’t wait to hear this.”

Jason swallowed past the lump in his throat, nervously clutching the hem of his shirt. “Back then- When we were younger, before I- I left… Look, can you just come sit down with me?”

Nico’s answer was short and clear. “No.”

“O-okay.” He sighed. “Look, it’s a long story. Just hear me out, okay?”

A curt nod was all he got in reply.

Jason walked over to his poor, beat up excuse of a couch and sat down, pulling a throw pillow onto his lap. “I was in love with you,” he admitted quietly.

He shivered when the temperature in the room dropped, looking up at Nico, silently praying to all the gods he knew of to make Nico stay. He flinched when he saw the fierce glare in Nico’s eyes, right before Nico barked out a bitter laugh.

“Unbelievable,” Nico hissed. “ _You_ were the one who convinced me to stay instead of running away. _You_ helped me face my own damned feelings. And what do you do? You turn around and do exactly what you told me _not_ to do. _You ran away._ ”

Hearing Nico say it made it all the more painful. Nico was right, of course. Instead of facing his feelings, he’d run away, though that was only part of the story.

“I did it for you.” Jason admitted, though now that he was older, he knew it was a stupid argument. “You were just getting to be yourself, finally settling in, becoming who you are. You didn’t need me as anything more than your friend.” He heard Nico’s deep voice rumble, but he soldiered on. “You were still getting over Percy, and there was something developing between you and Will. I didn’t want to stand in the way of that. I couldn’t.”

“Bullshit,” Nico growled, his warm breath visible in the ever colder air of Jason’s cabin. “You didn’t think I needed you? Don’t you think that was for me to decide?”

“I just thought... “ He sighed. “I had another reason, okay? I was jealous. I couldn’t deal with not having you, giving you all those pep talks when you were too nervous to talk to Will? That _broke_ me, Nico, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had a girlfriend who could _feel_ I was feeling all these things for someone else, and it was too much. I never _wanted_ to leave, but I _had_ to.”

Cracks started appearing in the floor between his feet, and Jason briefly wondered if he was going to find himself in the Underworld before long, when Nico spoke again.

“You are the most selfish piece of shit I’ve _ever_ had to deal with!” He spat out the words like they were venom, and Jason welcomed them. He deserved them, he deserved everything that Nico would rain down upon him, and more. “Do you have _any_ idea what happened after you left? How abandoned I felt? You were my best friend, and you left without giving me an explanation. I spent _every day_ thinking it was my fault, that I drove you away, that you’d finally had enough of me. And I was so happy to finally have a friend who accepted me for who I was, and then you left, because you were too much of a coward to tell me about your feelings.”

“I didn’t know, okay?!” Jason jumped up off the couch. “I didn’t know what would happen! I didn’t think you’d blame yourself!”

“Fuck you, Grace!” Nico screamed. “You knew exactly what would happen! You just thought that you could fix everything, like you always thought! I didn’t need someone to look after me and mother me, keep me safe from the big, bad world. I needed a friend. And the only friend I had left me out in the cold because he thought it would help me.”

Jason’s anger fell away. He didn’t have any right to be angry. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry’s not good enough,” Nico said, gritting his teeth. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with _‘sorry’_?”

Jason didn’t know how to reply to that. He wished he’d done things differently, but he couldn't take it back, and now that he’d been put on the spot, he didn’t know how to make things right. For years he’d spent every free second he had thinking of a way to mend things between them, but he had nothing.

He heard Nico scoff to his side, right before long fingers grabbed the front of his t-shirt and Nico kissed him so hard he thought his face would be bruised later. Nico’s nose dug painfully into his cheek, and he doubted that Nico got any enjoyment out of this.

“Did you ever think that maybe I would have been able to return your feelings?” Nico asked when he pushed Jason back, right before he kneed him in the stomach. “Think about that.”

Jason fell backwards on the couch, clutching his stomach and whimpering pathetically, only able to watch as Nico stepped into the corner, threw him one last glare, and disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no idea what that was. I started writing, and bam, out fell a fic.
> 
> Let me know what you think, please!
> 
> ps, I should really focus on On Tour, so I might write more chapters, I might not. But I'll let you guys know on [Tumblr.](http://carpedm87.tumblr.com/)


End file.
